All That and a Bag of Chips Read online

  She was standing in front of me, hand on her hip, lips pursed. Her hair was sweaty and messy, and she was wearing that weird aerobics outfit again. Aunt Kelly sat on the recliner, wiping her brow with a workout towel. They were both staring at me with wide eyes. It was like a scene out of a bad nineties movie. And I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing. Mom narrowed her eyes. Aunt Kelly furrowed her brow. I fought to rein it in. “Sorry. It’s just…I have a hard time taking you seriously when you’re wearing that.”

  Mom sighed. “Seriously, Rem. I don’t understand why you’re suddenly so worried about my workout clothes.” Shaking her head, she pinned me with a challenging look. Uh oh. “At least tell me you’re being safe.”

  Huh? “Safe?”

  “Yeah, you know,” Mom lowered her voice, glancing around. “Using a condom.”

  “Ewww. Mom.” I threw up my hands as if that could shield me from her words.

  “I’ve always told you that you can be open about this kind of thing with me,” she said as if to reassure me. As if that’s what I wanted. To have sex talks with my mom. Really? I’d had one with her back in junior high, and it was the most awkward conversation ever.

  “Yeah, I know,” I said. “But there’s nothing to tell. We kissed. That’s all.” Mom’s shoulders relaxed in obvious relief. “And it was only the one time,” I added sourly.

  Mom’s eyebrows jumped up. “That was your first kiss?”

  Aunt Kelly laughed. “And we walked in on it? You’ve got some timing, girl.”

  You could say that again. I frowned. It was such a magical moment. And then poof. It was over. My insides knotted as I pictured Nick’s face when Mom called out my name. Not only was it our first kiss. It was probably our last.

  “Now that you and Nick are dating, I’ll have to set some ground rules.”

  Ground rules. Great. That was another thing that hadn’t changed. Even the 2018 version of my mom loved setting ground rules. And were Nick and I dating? I hoped so.

  “But right now, I need to hop in the shower.” Her head bounced toward me. “We’ll talk later.”

  Can’t wait.

  Groaning, I rested my head against the couch cushions and stared upward as Mom left the room.

  “Oh, it’s not so bad,” Aunt Kelly said, once Mom was gone. “Your mom is actually way cooler about this than my mom would’ve been.”

  “That doesn’t actually make me feel better.” I barely knew my grandma, but the stories I’d been told made her sound like some kind of tyrant.

  “It’s hard, you know,” Kelly continued. “Having to raise you guys on her own. She’s doing her best.”

  I sat forward. “You make her sound like a single mom.”

  Aunt Kelly shrugged. “She kinda is.”

  “No, she’s not,” I said firmly, protectiveness for my dad igniting in my gut. “Dad works on a job out of town for a few months, but then he comes back.”

  “Yeah.” Aunt Kelly snorts. “For a couple of weeks. And when he’s gone, she hardly hears from him.”

  “A couple of weeks?” That wasn’t right. After his last job he was back for over a month. And prior to that he was put on a local job.

  “Yeah, I swear that man likes to be away from his family.”

  “That’s not true.” I crossed my arms over my chest, anger swimming in my veins. Is it? He did seem distant when I talked to him earlier. And I’d never seen Aunt Kelly like this. She and my dad were super close. Then again, this version of Kelly seemed bitter, insecure. Nothing like the Kelly I knew. Sadness blanketed me. I wasn’t sure I liked all of these changes. I missed the way things were.

  I missed my cool Aunt Kelly with her high-powered job, her cute clothes and closet full of shoes. I missed Dad facetiming us, joking around, and kissing Mom through the screen. I missed Ava and the choir and snapchatting my friends. My heart ached.

  “Nick sure is a hottie, though. I’d hold on to that one.” Aunt Kelly threw me a wink.

  I smiled, my heart flipping in my chest. He was a hottie. But the only way to hold on to him was to stay here. Everything about my life was different now, and most of it wasn’t great. But Nick was. And we had something special. A connection I’d never had with another guy. He was deep in a way that surprised me. And I wanted to get to know him better. I wanted to see if we had something.

  Maybe if we did it would be strong enough to follow us back to 2018.

  I doubted it, but I had to try. I couldn’t go back. Not yet. It may have been selfish, but I had to see where this thing with Nick would take me. I’d hate myself forever if I didn’t.

  ***

  The ground rules weren’t so bad, and most were what I expected. They were pretty much the same rules Mom had for Ian and every guy I’d dated prior to that. Basically, we couldn’t be in my room with the door closed or be alone in either of our houses. And I had to tell Mom where we were going on our dates.

  The problem was that I wasn’t sure there would be a date. Or that Nick would even want to be alone with me.

  It had been more than twenty-four hours since our kiss in his front yard, and I hadn’t heard from him at all. I hadn’t even seen him in the front yard. Last night, his car had been gone until after I went to bed. And today he must’ve been holed up in his house. His car stayed put in the driveway, the curtains closed tight to the house.

  Okay, okay, I know I sounded like a total stalker. But, to be fair, I was used to stalking people. Well, social media stalking, anyway. Since I didn’t have that anymore, staring out my window was the only way I could try to check up on him. I was worried that our relationship had been ruined before it had even begun.

  Brooke had called earlier today. I ended up spilling the entire story about our kiss and its disastrous ending, mainly because she wouldn’t stop fishing for information. She assured me it was no big deal, but also offered to talk to Nick for me if I wanted. But she seemed overly eager to be involved, so I begged her not to. I couldn’t figure out what her angle was, and I still didn’t fully trust her.

  Lying on my bed, I stared at the ceiling listening to the music blaring from my boombox. I’d started branching out from the Wilson Phillips CD, and was now listening to Mariah Carey. Bouncing my feet in time to the music, I lightly hummed along and wondered what Nick was up to. Where had he been all last night? Was he with another girl? One who’s mom wouldn’t walk in on them kissing? Oh, god. A fresh wave of embarrassment rolled over me.

  If only I had my cell so I could check his Instagram or Facebook or Snapchat and find out what he was doing. Then again, maybe I didn’t want to know.

  My bedroom door swung open, and Mom walked in, her eyebrows raised. Walking into the room, she turned my music down. “Nick’s on the phone for you,” she said breathlessly as if she’d been running.

  “Really?” Pulse jumpstarting, I sat up. “I didn’t even hear the phone ring.”

  Mom cocked her head to the side. “I can’t imagine why,” she said sarcastically, her gaze traveling down to my boombox.

  Oh. Right. “Sorry,” I mumbled.

  “I like loud music. You know that,” she said. “But there’s no need to make your ears bleed.”

  “Got it.” I scooted to the edge of my bed and reached for my phone.

  “Go ahead.” Mom turned to walk out of the room. “I’ll hang it up downstairs.”

  “Thanks.” Hands shaking, I picked it up. “Hey, Nick.” I attempted to sound breezy and carefree, as if I hadn’t been lying here obsessing about him.

  “Hey,” he answered.

  My heart did that tumbling thing it always did at the sound of his voice. In my ear there was a loud click when Mom hung up the other phone. “What’s up?”

  “Wanted to see if you still needed a ride tomorrow to school.”

  My stomach dropped. He was so formal. So distant. So, unlike yesterday. “Um…yeah.”

  “Cool. See ya in the morning.”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled.

  After setting
the phone down, I sat there numbly. Man, I could kill my mom for driving up at that exact moment. I mean, her stupid aerobics class couldn’t have gone a little longer? But wait. Could he have really been that upset about Mom interrupting us? There’s no way he’d avoid me just because of that. It had to be something else….oh, god, maybe it had nothing to do with Mom. Maybe I was a terrible kisser.

  Heat working its way up my spine, I relived yesterday’s kiss. It was freakin’ epic on my end. But what was it like from his? Was I slobbery? Unpracticed? I’d kissed plenty of times, but not in this lifetime. And even in 2018, my love life was pretty crappy. I tried to remember if Ian had ever told me I was a good kisser. He hadn’t, had he? And then he randomly kissed someone else at a party.

  How had I not figured this out before?

  I was a bad kisser.

  And it was ruining everything.

  ELEVEN

  Nick was acting weird. He’d hardly said two words to me since we got in the car this morning. It couldn’t all be about a bad kiss, could it? If so, I must’ve been like the worst kisser ever. Oh, god, maybe I had terrible breath or something. Nah, I’d brushed my teeth.

  Then what was it?

  I stared at his profile while he drove, my stomach in knots.

  “So, did you have a good weekend?” I asked, fishing.

  Without looking over at me, he shrugged. “S’allright.”

  My heart pinched. What was his deal?

  He turned the corner in silence. I stared out the window, wondering if I should even bother saying anything else. So far, he didn’t seem interested in conversation.

  “Your mom seemed fine,” he finally said, his words startling me after the lengthy silence. My head whipped in his direction. The confusion must’ve registered on my face because he continued, “When I called, she seemed okay. Like, with me calling.”

  “Of course,” I said, still not following.

  “It’s just that I wasn’t sure…”

  Then it hit me. “Oh. You thought she’d be upset…about seeing us kiss?” My face warmed.

  He nodded.

  “No, she was fine.”

  “Really?” His eyebrows raised. “Then how come I didn’t hear from you all weekend?”

  Oh, god. My stomach tumbled to the floor. This whole time I’d been waiting to hear from him thinking he was upset with me, when he’d been at home doing the exact same thing. I sighed. “I’m sorry. I guess I thought…I was…well, I was embarrassed. And I kinda thought maybe you were upset with me.”

  “Upset with you about what?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. About my mom driving up and interrupting our kiss.”

  He laughed. “I mean, it wasn’t my favorite moment, but it happens.” We pulled into the parking lot of the school, and he guided his car into a parking space in the back of the lot. Then he turned to me. “But mostly I was worried your mom wouldn’t let me see you anymore.”

  I bit my lip, my palms moistening. “Nah, she wouldn’t do that.” His lips curved upward, causing my heart to skip a beat. “She did set some ground rules though.”

  “Ground rules, huh?” He cocked one eyebrow. It was so dang cute, my insides went all quivery. “Like what?”

  “Like that we can’t be alone and stuff.”

  He glanced around the car, an amused expression on his face. “We’re alone now.”

  I cleared my throat. “Well, I think she meant at our houses or whatever.” My gaze meeting his, I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry about not calling you all weekend.”

  He nodded. “Next time let me know what’s up so I don’t have to worry.”

  “You were worried?” He never ceased to surprise me.

  Scooting closer, he lifted a hand to touch my face. “Worried I wasn’t going to be able to do this again.”

  A shiver ran through me as his face neared mine. I closed my eyes as our lips touched. As his fingers fumbled in my hair and our mouths fused, I lost myself in him. The morning started off rocky, but things were definitely looking up. And I was super relieved to find out he hadn’t been avoiding me because I was a sucky kisser. If anything, this moment was proving that I wasn’t. As our kiss deepened, it was clear he couldn’t get enough of me.

  That made two of us.

  Rapping on the window broke the spell. I drew back from Nick, dazed. He blinked, clearly dazed as well. There was lip-gloss smeared on his lips. He wiped it off with the back of his hand. I craned my neck. Brooke stood at the window, smiling at us. Great.

  “Get a room, you two,” she spoke through the glass.

  I sort of thought that’s what we were doing.

  Meeting Nick’s gaze, we both smiled and shook our heads.

  “She has a point,” Nick said. “Clearly, we need to find a more private place.”

  “Agreed.” I laughed.

  We gathered up our backpacks and got out of the car. The parking lot was filling up fast, and Nick spotted his friends pulling up a few feet away. Brooke sidled up next to me, wearing a smug grin.

  “Later, Remy.” He lightly touched my arm before heading toward his friends.

  “It looks like things worked out between you two,” she said, and it was hard to tell if she was happy about this or not.

  “Yep.” But I was happy about it, and no one could burst my bubble this morning.

  “That’s great,” she said, although her tone didn’t match her words. “But you might want to find a different place to make out other than his car.” She looked around, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “You don’t wanna get a bad rep.”

  The last person who should’ve been lecturing me about a bad reputation was Brooke. Then again, maybe her rep was solid in 1993. I didn’t know. Nodding, I followed her into the school hallway. I’d been hoping to walk into school with Nick. Maybe hold his hand or something. But maybe another time. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ava with some of the other choir kids. Heart pinching, I wondered when I’d stop missing her. Or if I ever would. Without her I felt like a part of me was missing. Like I was walking around without an arm or something.

  I missed her that much.

  “What is with you lately?” Brooke asked. “You stare at that freak all the time with this weird look on your face like you have a major crush or something.”

  My body flushed. “I don’t have a crush on her. I…” Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe I could get information out of Brooke. “I feel bad about how things went down between us.”

  “Between you and the band geek?” She snorted. Again, I bit back the words, “not band, choir.” “Be grateful we saved you from her.”

  “She’s not that bad,” I said sourly.

  “Are you kidding? When you made the squad, she was like something out of a horror movie. I thought she was gonna come at me with an axe or something. Don’t you remember how crazy she acted. And don’t forget that she was the one who made you choose. We didn’t. Remember, we said she could hang with us, even though I honestly feared for my life?” She held up her palm, wearing an earnest expression.

  “Right.” The pieces were clicking into place now. And I was sure I knew how things had played out. I could only imagine how Ava would react to hanging out with Brooke and her friends. Plus, I was sure they weren’t as welcoming as Brooke let on. “She gave me an ultimatum,” I rattled off, like I was finishing the story. As if I was there. As if I remembered. “And I chose you guys.”

  Brooke smiled, slinging an arm over my shoulder. “Of course you did. Would’ve been stupid not to.”

  She was kind of right. I mean, as much as I missed Ava, she shouldn’t have made me choose. A real friend would have stood by me no matter what. I’d wanted to be a cheerleader forever. And I’d had a crush on Nick for years. Shouldn’t Ava have wanted me to be happy? To get the things I wanted?

  The bell rang out.

  “C’mon.” Brooke tugged on my arm. Leaving thoughts of Ava behind, I hurried alongside her, thinking only of the future. Of having lunch
with Nick. And maybe finding somewhere private later.

  Like I said, today I was happy, and I wouldn’t let anyone take that away.

  ***

  “Hey, you.” Nick caught up with me in the hall on the way to lunch.

  “Hey.” I bit my lip, racking my brain with something further to say. I still wasn’t great at small talk with him. He made me nervous. But in a good way. A very good way.

  I noticed a few girls glancing over, their eyebrows raising. Not that I blamed them. He looked hot in his navy blue shirt that brought out the color of his eyes. His blond hair fell in a tousled wave over his forehead.

  “Excuse me, miss, is this guy bothering you?” Derek ran up to us, shoving Nick in a playful way.

  “Dude, really?” Nick fake punched his friend in the arm.

  “He can be hella annoying. I know.” Derek winked at me.

  I forced a smile. It was weird being in this group and having Derek Butterfield talk to me like we’re friends. Two years ago, I tripped over Derek’s foot in the cafeteria. He swore he didn’t try to trip me, but I was never sure. Regardless, he laughed like it was the funniest thing ever. It was so odd to now have him laughing with me and not at me.

  After I tripped, Nick had asked me if I was okay. At the time I wasn’t sure if he was messing with me or not, so I said I was fine and hurried off.

  “Don’t listen to him.” Nick slung an arm over my shoulder.

  That fluttery thing happened again in my chest. I swore if I kept hanging out with him I’d end up with a heart condition.

  “Ugh. That Mrs. Johnston is the worst. As if I don’t have enough going on in my life, now I have to redo my math test.” Brooke appeared at my side.

  “You flunked your math test?” My insides churned. I was kind of worried that I had too. Good grades had always been a given with me. I always prioritized homework and studying. Well, at least I had in 2018. In this lifetime, I had cheer practice, popular friends and a hot boyfriend. That didn’t leave a lot of time for studying.